Loss of Me
by kelsey731
Summary: A oneshot following the female tribute from District Four for the 74th Hunger Games. Written for CandisDrake.


"You're really going to volunteer?" Candis asked her best friend, raising an eyebrow at her. She couldn't understand why on earth anyone would voluntarily sentence themselves to an almost guaranteed death, but every year, one or both tributes would.

Serena nodded, an excited grin on her face. "Can you imagine, Candy? Going to the Capitol and getting to be fawned over?"

"Then thrown into a fight to the death with 23 other people," The young woman shook her head, closing her eyes as she rested against the base of a tree. "You're crazy."

"Whatever! Just wait, when I come back and I'm bathed in riches, I won't share any of it with you!"

Candis laughed and dug her feet into the pleasantly warm sand, wiggling her toes. "Damn, now I'm really jealous. Be serious for a minute, Serena. What if you die?" She opened her turquoise colored eyes and blinked at the blonde. "What then?"

She huffed and rolled her eyes. "Have you forgotten who the mentor is? Finnick Odair, you idiot! Remember the girl who won last year? If she could win, then there's no way in hell that I can't!" She stood up and brushed the sand off of her behind, sighing. "I'll see you tomorrow, be ready for my big moment." She grinned before leaving the raven haired girl alone on the remote part of the beach.

She stared out at the sea with a blank expression, but inside she was reeling. How could Serena be so excited? The riches weren't guaranteed. If you weren't good enough, it cost you your life. She let out a long breath and picked up a handful of sand, slowly letting it run out through her fingers.

The sun was setting in the sky, and she sighed as she got up from the ground and brushed her clothes off before heading towards her house.

"There you are, I was beginning to worry," Her mother sighed with relief when she walked in the front door. "Everyone else has finished eating, but there is some left for you on the counter." She frowned at the peculiar look on her daughter's face and set her hand on her shoulder.

Candis looked at her and shrugged, "No need to worry, mom. The Reaping is tomorrow, and then you can worry." She felt bad immediately after she had spoken, seeing the look on her mother's face. "I'm sorry…hey, guess what? You don't have to worry, do you know why?"

Jane swallowed and shook her head.

"Serena is volunteering, so you have no reason to be upset! She might have to worry about more than one person trying to volunteer, but you…you don't have to worry. Okay?" She looked into her mother's identically colored eyes, and smiled when she finally nodded.

* * *

The night seemed to be over in the blink of an eye. When she had finally managed to drifted off to sleep, it was time to get up. The bright sunlight nearly blinded her as she got up to prepare for the day. She kept telling herself over and over that it would be alright, that Serena was going. Then again, that wasn't a very reassuring thought. Sending Serena to look death in the eye instead of her?

It was her choice, she thought to herself, letting the cool water wash over her skin. Her mother had laid out a dress for her when she finished her shower, and she pursed her lips as she stared at for a moment. It was snug on her hips and over her breasts, but it would do. She stepped in front of the mirror and looked herself over, finding it strange that she was worried about her appearance. Did it matter? She was going to stand around and then come right back home. She ran her hands over the soft, blue material and looked at her reflection once more.

A loud, blaring horn sounded, making her jump and look out the window. She heard footsteps from the hallway and she turned to see her mother standing there.

"I'm ready," She smiled and went over to her. "You aren't worrying, are you?"

Jane smiled sadly and she nodded. "I can't help it, Candis." She reached up and played with one of her loose, dark curls, sighing.

"You'll see," Candis smiled reassuringly and reached for her hand. "Better get out there, yeah?"

Everyone in the district filed to the square, where the large screens and the two Reaping balls waited, deciding the fate of two children. Candis stopped as they reached the registration tables, turning to her mother. "I'll come find you after, okay? I love you," she smiled and hugged her tight before letting her go and approaching one of the stations.

"Your hand, please," The woman instructed, reaching her own hand out.

Candis chewed on her bottom lip as she pricked her finger and smeared her blood on the paper, and when she aimed a scanner at it, 'Candis Finchley' flashed on the small screen, and she was able to pass through to where everyone was filing into sections.

"Over here!" Serena waved at her best friend. "Could you sleep?"

"Not a bit. You?"

Serena shrugged, picking at the hem of her faded pink dress. She opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by the eccentric man on stage.

"Welcome, welcome!" He announced with an impish grin. He introduced himself as Salvatore Hume, and Candis recognized him from the previous year. The sun was beating down on them, and the longer they stood there, the more anxious she became. By the time that the film reel had ended and Salvatore called the attention back to himself, his smile never faltering.

"Here we go," Candis whispered to Serena, who didn't answer. She watched the man walk over to the glass orb containing the every girl name and reach inside. It didn't matter whose name was called, she reminded herself.

Salvatore cleared his throat as he made it back to the microphone, opening the slip of paper and examining it. "Candis Finchley!" He called out.

She felt her blood run cold as people turned to look at her. Why hadn't Serena spoken yet? She turned her head to look at her friend, who had tears in her eyes. "Serena, what are you doing?" She whispered, her blue eyes wide.

Serena's lower lip quivered and she shook her head. "I-I can't do it," she whispered, taking a step away from her. "I'm sorry, Candis."

"Candis Finchley? Where are you? Come up," Salvatore's voice came from the stage. He smiled as he saw the young woman start to move through the crowd, her head down. "You stand right here, love, while we choose the boy."

This couldn't be real. She searched the sea of people for Serena, but could not find her anywhere. She must have run off somewhere. Her stomach twisted with the feeling of betrayal; how could she have done this to her? As she scanned the crowd, her eyes fell upon her mother, who was clutching onto another mother to keep standing. Tears threatened to erupt from Candis' eyes and she tore her gaze away from her mother, choosing instead to stare straight forward.

"Quinn Davett!" Salvatore announced, and after a moment, when no one volunteered, a small mousy looking boy stumbled onto the stage. Candis felt her stomach lurch; he couldn't have been older than thirteen. "I present to you your tributes for the Seventy-Fourth Hunger Games! Make your district proud, Candis and Quinn! And may the odds be ever in your favor..."

* * *

"Candis!" Jane blurted out a sob as she stumbled through the door of small holding room. She pulled her daughter into her arms, her whole body shaking at the magnitude of her crying. "What happened? Wh-why-"

"She changed her mind," Candis whispered, hugging her mom back tightly and sniffling. "I'm sorry, mom…I'm sorry…" Why was she apologizing? She hadn't known that Serena would back out, but still.

"I don't even have anything to give you as a token, I..." Jane trailed off as she pulled away, holding up her hand and slowly pulling off her wedding ring.

"Mom," she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks as she placed it in her palm and closed it.

"Come back to me, Candis. You're all I have left," she swallowed, her blue eyes so distraught. She put her arms around her child again and held her close, not letting her go, and not moving until the Peacekeeper came back in and announced that it was time to leave. "I love you, Candy," she whimpered, kissing both her cheeks.

* * *

"Here we are, you two. Isn't it amazing?" Salvatore gushed as he led the tributes onto the train. "You'll be taken to the Capitol in such style! This is a once in a lifetime experience, remember that! One has to be invited to the Capitol normally, and that is very hard to achieve."

Candis tuned out his chattering as they moved from car to car, only able to focus on her migraine. She pressed two fingers against her temple and sighed as they entered another car, stopping when she nearly ran into Salvatore's backside.

"Introductions are in order! Here they are, your new tributes!"

A man stood up from the table and when he turned around, Candis froze.

"Hello there," Finnick smiled, extending his hand to Quinn first. "You've got a nice grip, son! That may come in handy," He grinned and ruffled his dirty blonde hair before looking at Candis. "Pleasure to meet you, Candis."

She swallowed as she shook his hand, unable to help but gawk at him. "H-how did you know my name?" She stammered.

A charming grin spread across his face and he cross his arms over his broad chest. "I was watching the Reaping too, sweetheart."

Her cheeks burned bright red and she immediately felt like an idiot. "Oh…right," she mumbled, her cheeks turning darker when he chuckled.

* * *

"Night, Quinn!" Finnick called after the young boy as he went off to his bedroom. He ran a hand through his hair as he sat on the opposite end of the couch as Candis, sighing quietly.

"I'm afraid for him," Candis said, tucking her feet up underneath her.

"How come?"

She furrowed her brows at him in confusion, "What do you mean, how come? Just look at him. He's so small…"

"So? Just because he's small or younger doesn't matter. He's certainly going to be less skilled than other careers, but what if…" Finnick pursed his lips and thought a moment. "What if something happens and in order to survive, you have to keep climbing and climbing, but the tree is too weak to support a regular sized person? Hm?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right," She sighed, blushing at the triumphant grin on his face. "I'll just hope that the arena isn't all climbing trees…"

He chuckled deeply and scooted closer to her. "What about you? Are you going to surprise me, Candy?"

"Nope," She chewed on her lip to fight a grin. "I'm about as surprising as a sack of potatoes." Her heart fluttered as he brushed his thumb against her cheekbone, and she found herself staring into his sea green eyes.

"Your eyes caught me off guard," He said in a softer voice. His lips were turned up just slightly, and he couldn't look away from those enchanting eyes. "You could ensnare anyone just by looking at them, and then…" He leaned in closer, and Candis could feel his breath against her lips. "Then they're dead," he whispered, pulling away and smirking at the look of astonishment on her face.

"I don't know how well that would work," She finally said, her heart beating so loudly in her ears. "Will you help me?"

"That's my job, sweetheart," Finnick smiled and stood up from the couch, stretching his arms over his head. "You ought to go to bed, you've got a long day tomorrow." He reached for her hand and looked into her eyes as he planted a soft kiss to the back of her hand. "Until then, Candis…sleep tight."

* * *

Candis felt foolish to be thinking about Finnick when she should have been thinking about the games. But she couldn't help it; her mind would wander to their conversation on the train, how close his lips had come to touching hers. Did all the female tributes have this problem? Being under the mentoring of Finnick Odair, the most beautiful man in all of Panem, it was difficult to concentrate on much else. Did he realize the effect that he had on women? He must have, for he was notorious for having a long line of lovers in the Capitol… And was that where he was now, instead of with his tributes? She sighed quietly and that caused her stylist to give her a look.

"What is it? Do you not like it?" Carter asked, his purple lips in a pout. He gently fluffed her curls, which were smooth and shiny as they cascaded down her back. They were anxiously standing around, waiting for the parade to start.

"I'm just nervous," She answered quietly, her lips twitching up in a smile. She resumed looking around at the other tributes, trying to make mental notes on who to pay attention to. Her eyes landed on the two tributes from District Twelve and she stared at them for a moment. The girl caught her staring and pursed her lips, making her look away and swallow. Some of the outfits that the other tributes were wearing looked absolutely ridiculous, and she sighed in relief when she looked down at herself. Carter had dressed her in an all-white ensemble, supposedly representing the moon, and Quinn was beside her in a getup that was woven together with so many beautiful blues; making him the tide to her moon.

"Ready?" Salvatore smiled as he helped her step onto the chariot. "Smile big, and be sure to keep your chins up."

Candis nodded and she swallowed, trying to keep calm as they waited for the three chariots in front of them to go. She gasped when their chariot lurched forward and Quinn grabbed the bar in front of them.

"I'm okay," he smiled sheepishly.

Both their eyes widened as they left the garage and were suddenly overcome by the sheer size and splendor of the Capitol. There were thousands upon thousands of people watching them, smiling, laughing, and clapping their hands for them. Candis couldn't wipe the bewildered expression off her face as she raised her arm up and waved, the intensity of the cheers unsettling her. The parade route stretched on for what seemed like an eternity before they stopped behind District One's chariot and the other ones filed into place.

President Snow rose from his chair and approached his grand podium, resting his large hands on the edges before he spoke. "Welcome!" His voice boomed, startling the raven haired young woman. "Welcome, tributes! We salute your courage, and your sacrifice. And we wish all of you a Happy Hunger Games, and may the odds be ever in your favor…" He gave a small smile, nodding as he looked down at all the young people, basking in the wild applause from the audience.

Candis lowered her gaze as the chariots began to pull away once more, and she could hear Snow's words echoing in her ears.

Sacrifice.

* * *

"I didn't expect the moon to be in here," Finnick's voice came from the elevator, and when Candis turned round to look, he was right behind her. "Why are you still awake, Candy?" He gently touched her face with his knuckles, chewing on his lip when she closed her eyes and pressed against his hand.

"I was waiting for you," She answered softly, keeping her eyes closed. "Is that silly?"

Finnick smiled and he pulled his hand away, shaking his head at her when she opened her breathtaking eyes. "No, it's not silly," he whispered, going and sitting beside her.

"Did you see the parade?" She asked, scooting closer to him as he draped his arm around her shoulders. She rested her head against his body, taking comfort in being held like this.

"I did. You looked a little overwhelmed," he smiled and gently petted her curls with his fingertips. "But incredibly stunning. I've already overheard people talking about you, and that's good. You're making my job easier, sweetheart."

Her lips twitched up in a slight smile, but she remained quiet. "Happy to be of help," she finally murmured, shivering at the feeling of his fingers stroking her shoulder. "Finnick?"

"Mm?"

"What happens if I do win?"

"You get to go home and you'll move in to a-"

"No, I know that, I meant…" Candis sighed quietly, feeling her cheeks turn red. "Will I see you at all? Or do we part ways forever?"

Finnick was quiet for a few moments, inwardly sighing. It was always so difficult to say, especially when nearly every tribute he had was like this. And he himself couldn't help but become attached to them…to feel things toward them. "If you win," he began slowly, tilting up her chin, "then you'll come home with me, and we'll…" He let his thumb graze her lower lip and he swallowed. "We would always see one another, we'd get to know everything that makes us who we are..." he trailed off and looked into her eyes for a moment before leaning down and pressing his lips against hers. A small smile played on his lips when he pulled away, seeing the flustered look on her face. "Did you do much kissing at home?"

Candis swallowed and she shrugged, "N-not really…"

He grinned and cupped her beautiful face in his hands, his eyes so sweet and bright. "Good," he whispered and kissed her again, murmuring at how soft she was. He pulled away after a long moment and rested his forehead against hers, swallowing. "I think you should go to bed," he muttered, surprising her.

"But-"

Finnick stood up quickly and chewed on his lip. "Go on, Candis. Go to bed."

She slowly got up from the couch, looking at him for a moment. Had she done something wrong? She stumbled as she walked back to her room, feeling so giddy. He had kissed her! She felt like she was walking on a cloud as she made it to her bed and laid down, her dark hair scattering across the sheets. Maybe she didn't have the best chance at making it out alive, but if she hadn't been determined to win before, she certainly was now.

* * *

"You mind?" A boy asked from behind her.

Candis whirled around and stared wide eyed at the blonde boy from District Two. "I…I…"

"Move it," He smirked, brushing past her and grabbing a sword off the rack. "The stations for children are over there, princess." He nodded towards Quinn, and a dark skinned young girl.

She stared at him as he went and began to spar with one of the trainers, a shiver of fear going down her back at how ruthless he was. No doubt he and some of the others had been training for this. Swallowing and grabbing a smaller sword, she headed to a station and smiled at a trainer. It wasn't so hard learning how to fight. She had a knack for it, it seemed. The only thing that was going to be a challenge for her was actually taking someone's life.

By the end of the first training day, Candis was the most sore she had ever been in her life. She had bruises and callouses, and she sighed when she fell onto the couch.

* * *

"Remember, he's here to help you," Salvatore reminded his tributes as they waited to go onstage with Caesar. "Just smile, and answer him genuinely…"

"From our seafaring district, please join me in welcoming Candis Finchley!" Caesar announced, smiling as she walked on. He met her and took her hand, leading her to face the enormous crowd before settling into the two chairs. "Welcome, Candis. Before we start, I want to say that you were one of the tributes that stood out to me. Honestly!"

She smiled and smoothed out the skirt of her dress. "Are you sure you aren't confusing me with District Twelve?"

He chuckled, the crowd following suit as they all watched the dark haired young woman. "I'm positive! Now how are you finding your time here? Are you enjoying yourself?"

Candis couldn't stop starting at his incredibly white teeth. It took her a moment to realize that he'd asked her a question and she blinked herself out of her momentary stupor. "It's so different here," she replied, which was what most everyone said in these interviews. "The training is really brutal…" She held up her arm and made a muscle, grinning at the look on Caesar's face. "Go on, feel it."

The crowd giggled at the look on Caesar's face as he slowly reached out and gave her bicep a feel, then began roaring with laughter when he flexed his own arm.

"I think you should've gotten a higher score with that arm, don't you?" Caesar cracked, chuckling. "But a seven is respectable, and I think that deserved it!"

"Not bad," Candis laughed and nodded in agreement, lowering her arm. "Maybe with a little more training, you'll be almost as strong as me."

"Oh yes, we'll have to have an arm wrestling contest, won't we?" He grinned, patting her knee. "You're funny, I like you! Pretty and funny, now there's a deadly combination for you… and those eyes…" He looked into her eyes for a quiet moment, and it was so silent that she could hear the humming of the lights. "Those are something special."

Candis gave him a small, shy smile and her cheeks turned pink when he reached over and took hold of her hand.

"Is there anyone that you'd like to say something to?" He asked in a softer voice, his thumb rubbing the back of her hand.

She stared at him, swallowing back the lump in her throat. "I want Serena to know that I'm not mad…that I forgive her," she whispered, chewing on her bottom lip. She nodded and smiled at Caesar, who gave her a somewhat sad smile back before helping her up.

"Give another round of applause to Candis Finchley from District Four!"

* * *

In the days that led up to the day she would be going into the arena, Candis was surprised at how peaceful she felt. She hadn't been telling a lie when she said that she had forgiven Serena, she understood how the weight of the moment had changed everything. As she sat next to tributes from the other Districts, she saw the same strange look of calm on all their faces. Their time left outside was limited, and once they entered the arena, there was no turning back.

Her arm stung from the tracker being inserted and she gently massaged the spot on her arm as Peacekeepers led her down a long, curving corridor until they stopped in front of a door. When they opened the doors for her, she felt her heart jump to her throat as Finnick stood there, looking beautiful as ever.

"You didn't think I'd let you get away from me, did you?" He smiled as she crossed the room and buried herself into his arms.

The fear was sinking in now, and it was crippling. How could this end well for her?

Finnick swallowed as she trembled in his arms and he held her tighter, resting his cheek against the top of her head. "Chin up, Candy," he whispered, tilting her chin up and looking into her wide eyes. He let go of her and retrieved a dark jacket from the rack on the wall, helping her to put it arm. "Just remember your training," He murmured as he zipped up her jacket, then set both his hands on her shoulders. "You can do this…"

She swallowed and nodded, looking up at him as the tube slid open for her to walk through. "You'll be watching?" She asked, clenching her fists to keep her hands from shaking. Her heart fluttered as his lips brushed over hers and then just like they were gone.

"Every move," He murmured in reply, giving her a solemn nod. He slowly released her hands and followed her over to the tube.

She turned to face him when the tube closed and she rested her forehead against the side, smiling faintly when he rested his head against it as well. It slowly began to rise up and her heart rate went with it, until Finnick was out of sight and she became immersed in the arena. Twenty three others stood on the pedestals, staring at the bountiful arena inside and dispersed around the Cornucopia. All the weapons were grouped closer towards the mouth of the Cornucopia, but she was going to try and get one. She needed to! She inched forward on her platform as the time counted down, and once it reached zero, she shot forward at the same time as the others, making a beeline for a sword that laid on top of a case of food.

The silence that had been hanging in the air before quickly turned into screams and sickening sounds of killing filled Candis' ears. As soon as she hand her hand around the hilt of the sword, she ran into the blonde boy, Cato, from training. He raised his sword but hesitated just slightly, which was all the time she needed to sprint away from him, slinging a backpack up onto her back. The sounds faded into the distance as she put distance between herself and the Cornucopia, for which she was thankful for.

Candis stopped running after a while, steadying herself against a large tree trunk. Her chest hurt as she tried to control her breathing, and she unslung the backpack, looking at the contents inside. There was thankfully a water bottle inside, and she carried it over to the stream she had been running alongside to fill it up. When she returned, she rested her back against the tree and began to root through the contents of the bag, finding a few packages of dried meat and fruit, some matches, and rope.

Some rustling made her freeze, and her eyes widened as someone seemed to walk behind her tree and onward, and she dared to look after a moment, finding that Katniss was kneeled in front of the stream with her head practically underwater as she drank. Candis remained completely frozen as she took a long time to drink to her heart's content and fill her water bottles before picking up her things and continuing on her way. She finally breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed her body once the brunette had disappeared. There was no way she wanted to find herself against the tribute that scored an eleven in evaluation.

With a grunt, she pushed herself off the ground and started heading in another direction, wanting to keep her distance from the girl on fire.

* * *

A few days had passed, and Candis was still alive. It hadn't been easy, not with the forest erupting into flames, driving her right into the middle of a close call with Cato and the other careers. Again, something about her had made Cato hesitate in killing her. She didn't quite understand it, but didn't question it very further.

The boy from twelve had been with the other careers. That puzzled her, for he'd told Caesar in his interview all about how he was supposedly in love with Katniss, now he was joining up on a hunt to kill her?

Candis stopped after a moment and steadied herself against a tree, feeling dizzy. She'd eaten all of her dried foods, and had only been able to catch a few fish before they stopped appearing. She swallowed and closed her eyes, trying to stop the world from spinning when she heard a quiet pinging from above. Only when it made a soft thump beside her did she open her eyes to see a parachute resting on the ground. She stooped down to open it and her mouth watered when the intoxicating scent from within reached her senses. "Oh, thank you," she breathed, beginning to devour the contents without stopping.

When she had eaten nearly all of it, she could feel someone watching her, and when she looked up into a tree she saw the young girl, Rue. Candis swallowed her mouthful and stared down at the leftovers guiltily. "Take it," she said softly, standing up and backing away from the food as if she didn't want to startle the girl. She turned away and left, hearing her run over and begin to finish the contents.

* * *

It made her happy to know that she was still alive, that she hadn't fallen to the hands of another. The feeling soon turned to nausea at the thought of being the only one left with Rue, and she looked down at the sword in her hand. It couldn't come down to that. She wouldn't be able to murder anyone.

Candis murmured quietly as she woke up, her eyes heavy with fatigue. Throughout her night she had been awoken by the sounds of a girl screaming, a cannon booming, and the rustle of footsteps. The sunlight burned her eyes and she murmured quietly as she untied herself from the tree, bundling up the rope and stuffing it into her backpack.

"About time you woke up," A voice came from below.

Candis jumped in surprise and she looked around for the voice, her eyes widening when she found Cato staring up at her, a group of other Careers with him. How long had they been there? She could have sworn that the footsteps that passed underneath her tree had moved on, not stopped.

"Are you going to climb down here, or are you going to make me come up and get you myself?" Cato asked, his eyebrow raised and a smirk on his face.

Her eyes darted around frantically, trying to find some way to escape. But there wasn't.

"Come down, Candy, and join us. We aren't going to hurt you…"

"Cato, she got a seven. What use is she to us?"

"Shut up," He hissed, glaring at Clove. "I'll ask nicely one more time. Come down, or I'll huff and puff and blow your tree down."

Candis stayed put, gripping the tree trunk tightly. So this was it? It wasn't fair! She didn't want to die!

"Get her down," Cato murmured, and a white hot pain seared Candis' leg as a knife plunged into her skin.

She screamed in agony, the pain causing her to see spots and wobble on the tree branch. She lost her balance and went toppling off, landing on the hard ground with a loud crack from her neck. It was strange. There was nothing. No pain, no sorrow, and no fear as Cato stepped up beside her, his nose wrinkled at the way her head was bent. He stared into her eyes, and she stared right back, that peaceful feeling washing over her. There would be no going home for her, no champion for District Four this year. Two families would be a child less.

A tear leaked out the corner of her eye and her mouth moved but formed no words, and she closed her eyes like she were simply drifting off to sleep.

* * *

Finnick swallowed as he watched Candis die, tears in his eyes. Another year, another tribute lost. He sniffled and wiped a hand against his cheek, drying his tears. It was never easy to watch innocent people be slaughtered, and it never would get any less traumatic for those in the event. The ones who knew the stakes, who knew what happened in and out of the Hunger Games. He sighed and stood up, turning away from the monitors and biting his lip as he heard the cannon's boom.

The odds were never in anyone's favor.

**Author's note: This was a oneshot I wrote for CandisDrake that wound up being quite long, so I apologize for the wait, but I hope you enjoy it! I probably won't be able to do something like this again for a while but I hope it was worth the wait for you :)**


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